the beginning of a play

"This morning I had a  failing of confidence. It struck from many areas of my darkened thoughts, manifest as diffuse stress about my contract, my thesis, my near future. The stress itself is acidic, it eats one from inside and makes productive work almost impossible, an unpleasant cycle.

At these moments I feel my hair-line receding, like a nightmare.

I have become many things I despised. Worried about appearance, paying attention to dress, to hair, lamenting aging, an arrogant diva with a lack of confidence. A try-hard never-has-been."